COVID-19

Tears that Say what Words Won’t

I cry a lot these days.

I speak little. I write little.

I think my tears are trying to say all the things I can’t get myself to express.

To my family, they say, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that life looks so different. I’m sorry that we just sit at home all the time. I’m sorry that I’m not more creative. I’m sorry for all the friendships on hold, for all the cancelled plans, for all the disappointments.”

To the lonely they say, “You are not forgotten. I wish I could be there, comforting you.”

To my parents, sisters and friends they say, “I miss you. I really miss talking. I miss laughing together. I miss seeing you face to face.”

To all those who have been laid off, who are fearful of their future and uncertain of how to pay their next bills they say, “I wish you could have your job back. I wish you could work. I’m sorry for your fear. I am here for you. I can’t give you everything you need, but what I have, I will gladly share. Ask for help.”

To my dear friend who sits quarantined in her room while her father lays in a hospital bed in a coma from COVID-19, my tears say, “I’m praying for you. I’m so sorry. I long to give you a hug, to tell you that everything will be alright. I’m sorry I can’t.”

To the Church they say, “Are we OK? Are we being the church? Do you still pray when you’re all alone? Are you still out there, seeking God? Are we showing the world Christ in this time? Or are we just distractingly surviving this like everyone else? Are we using this time to call on God, turning back to him, back to our families? Or are we just complaining and binge watching Netflix?”

To my blogging friends – yes friends – though we’ve never met… my tears say, “I see you. I don’t have the words to comfort your fears, your dashed hopes, your anxiety or your loneliness. But I see you. I hear you. Even if I don’t have the strength to comment.”

To God, they say, “I trust you completely… But how long will this last? How bad will it get? I hate how uncertain everything is!”

As the tears fall, they speak, a universal language of pain and hope to the world: This is hard…but we will get through this.

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25 thoughts on “Tears that Say what Words Won’t

  1. Hang in there. In Chinese, we say “Jiayou” (加油) as a form of encouragement to each other in Asia.

    Trust in the sovereignty of God and His purpose in all of this. God is doing amazing work currently. We only need to have faith and put our hopes in Him. Even though we walk through the valley of death we fear no evil because He’s with us. And He will never leave us. 😊

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    1. 加油 😊

      God IS doing amazing things. The work that’s done in times of hardship is painful, but always brings the most fruit. And looking back over other seasons of pain, I wouldn’t ever trade them for anything. For those seasons are what built up my character and faith the most.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. And we look forward to His eternal promise where He wipes away all tears and there will be no more death and sorrows.

        Hang in there. Things are hard globally. Even where I am now. But with God by our side, we will get through this! ☺️

        Important to also meditate on God’s words to learn what He is doing! 🙂

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      2. It’s amazing how difficulties grow our character and our faith. I guess that’s why Paul said to “count it all joy”. The more I go through, the more I trust Him. And I don’t say that flippantly, as if the hard stuff is easy. It’s not easy. But, slowly, I’m beginning to understand all those mysterious verses that promise joy through pain, etc.

        Hang in there, and thanks for sharing your feelings with us. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m with you. Everything is so upside down, Dawn (just kidding!! Hee. Hee.) Heather!!! I can’t remember who I told but our mortgage lender yanked out our loan agreement from under us this week, three days before we were supposed to sign to sell our house and buy the other one. We are crammed in with my parents for up to two weeks when it was supposed to be a day. Our future is up in the air so I keep crying for us (for my son who is having panic attacks) but also for local businesses that are failing, for people who are struggling financially here, for my fear that medical supplies will be stolen from our little rural areas for the bigger cities and when it surges here people will die like they usually do because we are never a priority (until they want our farmers to give them food for next to nothing in profit.). There is a lot on many of us, in other words, so we need to let the tears fall and as often as they need to.

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    1. Lol! Glad you FINALLY remembered my name 😁
      But I’m really sorry to hear about everything your family is going through. For you. For your son. So many plans are falling apart and I think that’s part of all the sadness. Yes we know that God’s in control! However, everyone now just has so many losses and in North America we were not used to that! Before, we could grieve with one person at a time. Now we’re grieving with everyone at once! What a huge wake up call: our world is SO fragile!! We in the west aren’t as invincible as we thought we were. And many people are suffering much much more than us.

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  3. 😰🥰🤗thanks for your blog, it resonated with our hearts, our tears, love & prayers go with you & your family each day❣️ Grieving with you but SO thankful for the HOPE we have in our Heavenly Father who tenderly cares over us all 💞. 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

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    1. Thank you for these kind words and for the ice cream treats you dropped off. We are so blessed to have the hope that we do ❤️ Enjoy your day out in the middle of nowhere 😜

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  4. Oh, Heather. I also cry because I am not sure I trust God. Well, come to think of it, it’s that I simply don’t know where He’s going with all this.

    I think your reaction is perfectly normal, and I’ve been hearing it’s the preferred reaction from most of my blogging friends. I think we creative types just feel things so deeply.

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    1. It feels weird to live in one of the most crazy moments of current history that I can remember, be so isolated and still have nothing to say. I feel like apologizing on behalf of all writers. Why, at the time of this crisis, would I go completely silent??

      I just don’t have the words to describe the anticlimactic moments of my day to day life during a pandemic. Do I complain? I have food and family around me. My husband has a job. How dare I complain? Do I speak of my latest shopping trip which makes my world seem surreal? Why bother! Everyone has experienced it. It’s like everything new, everyone else is experiencing alone and talking about it just deepens the feeling of loneliness. So mainly I hide in my house, pretending life goes on as normal and the moments I’m reminded it’s definitely not normal, I cry.

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      1. That’s exactly it! I’ve written a few times about the day-to-day because of that aching feeling of wanting to express the loneliness and confusion, realizing just what you said about its not being unique.

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