Pregnancy

Fourteen Years Ago

Fourteen years ago I was seventeen. I held a secret in my heart that only I knew.

Fourteen years ago I walked to the clinic all by myself and saw the doctor who gave me a test.

Positive. I had already known.

“Was this a good thing?” She asked. I slowly shook my head.

“Do you need help?” I did need help. Lots of it. But one long look in her eyes and I knew that I didn’t want the kind of help she was offering.

“I’ll be fine.” I said.

Fourteen years ago, I lowered my head as a guy in my classroom at school mocked teenage pregnancy… little did he know I was with child.

Fourteen years ago, I sat at a thanksgiving meal feeling oddly… thankful. Thankful for the little life that I was soon to be told would “ruin” mine.

Fourteen years ago I fought for the right to keep my own child.

“You’re too young.”

“You’ll throw away your future.”

“Just give it to a family who will actually want a baby.”

I did. I wanted you.

Fourteen years ago, I held my hand over my belly and sang a first lullaby of many. I danced with you. I ran with you. I spoke to you. I chose life. I chose you.

Fourteen years ago, I changed forever.

Because of you.

Now you’re thirteen, a charming young man. Funny. Selfless. Gentle. Nurturing. Wise beyond your years. And all I can think of is how thankful I am for the life I’ve gotten to raise, to know, and love. For the amazing journey you’ve brought me on that all began –

Fourteen years ago.

Advertisement

26 thoughts on “Fourteen Years Ago

  1. Beautifully written Heather!

    At 15, most girls are thinking about boys, clothes and makeup. But me—I was focused on raising my son.

    Being pregnant in High School was another reminder that, I wasn’t a normal high-school kid. I was a teenage mom with a physical disability. Such moments–and there were a lot of them, made me realize how out of place I felt in high school after my son was born. I graduated on time with my high school diploma, and worked to try to make ends meet. Still, I can’t ignore the fact that my life is quite unique compared with the lives of most of my peers.

    Everything changed for me in the 10th grade. The father and I were in a relationship but it later ended within a year.

    I was so scared being a single mom. From the start, I wanted to be a good mom. My pregnancy was considered high risk not only because I was 15 but because of my physical disability. After the c-section, my son was born. He was beautiful, healthy and he was mine.

    I stayed in the hospital longer than my baby boy due to complications. When I finally was able to go home, reality hit hard! It was like, I have a baby! What do I do now? With lots of help from my mom I figured things out.

    Even though I’m thankful for my son and have no regrets that I chose to keep, I definitely don’t want to promote teen pregnancy, believe me, it’s not easy and God intends for it to happen in the context of marriage when you are “prepared” to have a baby.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for sharing your story Kim! What courage it must have taken for you to raise him so young. I’m so glad you chose to give him LIFE! You sound so strong.
      This piece was written as my story, not some twisted version of promoting teen pregnancy. I do promote choosing life no matter what hard circumstance created it though and I believe that God can turn any hard situation into something beautiful. My son changed my life in a very good way. It wasn’t easy. If I had to choose my road again now I’d wait for marriage. And but really, I wrote this for two reasons: for those finding themselves believing the lies that they are “ruining their lives” by keeping a baby and also for a tender hearted, and sometimes insecure teen who needs to know he was always wanted and his life was made for a purpose 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I saw these things conveyed in your story. I believe that it will minster to whomever it was intended for. I was moved by the experiences you went through and the emotions you felt.

        I mentioned not wanting to promote teen pregnancy because I don’t want it to seem as if I am glorying teen pregnancy to who reads my comment. It’s been a long, hard road, a road that I would never glamorize but being a teen mom is apart of me and
        is my testimony.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Such an emotional story. I love your strength, courage and determination.. I’m happy your baby is doing good. Thanks for sharing.
    I’d love to reblogg if you don’t mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is so beautiful Heather. Thanks for sharing. When I got pregnant with my daughter, it was suggested to me to terminate my pregnancy because “I was young” (20). But thankfully I have my daughter today and she’s almost 23.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s