“Heav’n has no rage like love to hatred turn’d, nor hell a fury like a woman scorn’d”
-William Congreve 1697
Some words just seem to stick on us long after we’ve heard them and this quote often dances in my mind.
Of course, this one in particular has usually been misquoted and attributed to William Shakespeare.
The first time I heard it (in its misquoted form of course) I was in grade 9. Someone had hurt my friend and I blasted this particular person with all the pent up rage and defensiveness my tongue could muster without getting me sent to the principal’s office, only to have the boy smirk at me and say, “Hell hath no fury like a woman, that’s for sure!”
His careless attitude got me even more upset and I responded that he hadn’t even seen the beginning of my rage (that much was probably true). But despite being bothered by his amusement of my anger, deep down, I took it as a compliment. The act of defending someone in a “righteous” rage, made me feel a sense of control. Like I had a special kind of anger no man could ever experience: The anger of a woman.
It’s no secret, women in particular are known for their protectiveness and their intense emotions leading to even more intense interactions and conflicts.
It’s why girl fights are often much longer lasting and emotionally damaging then guy fights.
It’s why women in particular are known to have far more friend conflicts than their male counterparts. Women are relational. But when they are hurt they can leave a nasty trial of destruction behind. They don’t call her Mama Bear for nothing.
I’ve been the brunt of some pretty hurtful words, emails, texts and notes in the past…and for the most part, I’ve been able to calm myself down, reacting rationally and even kindly.
But I gotta tell you, nothing, literally nothing gets me as mad as when you hurt someone I love or someone who is unable to defend themselves. It’s as if the protector in me jumps out of my usually passive nature and says:
“Hold on, they may NOT do THAT!!! They won’t get away with it!!”
I am a defender. A brewing storm. An earthquake about to happen. A wild cat, defending it’s territory. A fighter at heart.
The very thing that causes me the most anger is when those in a position of power or authority get away with abuse. The fire within me burns.
How dare they!!
My anger, my rage, longs to see them brought to justice, to see them suffer for all the pain that they’ve brought on innocent, unsuspecting people, those weaker than themselves like the true bullies they are.
I want to see them admit to the wrongs they’ve caused, to see them work to make it right! And until then, no, I do not wish good things for them!
Does one wish the best for the heartless?
For those who reap havoc everywhere they go?
For those in authority who abuse their power by cutting down the weak and the needy and deceive their followers into thinking its for the greater good?
In the end, isn’t the best wish one can have for them is for them to be caught and punished for their crimes? To be brought to justice?
Anger comes over me trying to control that which I have no control over.
After all, isn’t that what anger is? A false sense of control?
How can I say that I trust in God’s judgements if I insist on taking it into my own hands? This lack of restraint is dangerous and in my personal journey, led to me believing a lie that my unchecked rage was somehow a good thing and that lashing out at people was some form of justice.
My heart yearns to rest in a Father who knows and sees all.
He sees my tears.
He knows their injustice.
And he will one day make everything right.
But my mind cries: Will it be enough? Will it be soon enough?
Trust in Him, O my Soul. Trust in the God alone. He will avenge. He will repay. He will reveal the wrongs, even the hidden ones that no one sees.
He is coming to judge the earth.
Sometimes I wonder what he’s waiting for. Isn’t there enough pain? Isn’t there enough unrestrained evil going on?
There’s answers to these questions, this I know, but in the moment of pain and frustration none of the even comes close to comfort.
When will it be enough?
Have you experienced injustice? How do you handle it?