Authenticity · Canada · Writing

Unrealistic Expectations

Is it really nearing the end of May? I feel like it’s passed me by in a blink.

I took a pause to write today.

Not because I really wanted to or because I had a lot to say, but mainly because I’ve been working non-stop on projects this past month and I need to just stop. Stop and remember that there are more important things than work.

“All work no play makes Jack a dull boy” …and it makes me a “grumpy, task focused, tired gal.”

My mind is drained. My body is weary. I work through the aching back and sore neck. I strain through the blisters, the cuts and the bruises. For what exactly?

To distract myself from an uncertain and unfamiliar world.

It’s easier to focus on things, rather than people when it’s people we’re told to avoid. It’s easier just to stay home and ignore the outside world while I work myself to the bone. It’s easier to watch “how-to” videos than the current news.

So I shut it all out and focus on one thing: Making home better.

It took a good sit down this afternoon to realize how hard I’ve been pushing myself and how ridiculous my expectations are. You wanna know what I expected to accomplish this month?

-Lead a weekly bible study on zoom.

– Homeschooling 5 kids.

-Finish our downstairs bathroom (from dingy, concrete floor bathroom to Pinterest post).

-Handtill and plant my garden.

– Repaint my front door.

-Sand down and paint my large back deck and veranda.

– Organize my closets, shed and garage.

– Plant 12 trees on my yard.

– Re-level our ground to set up the above ground pool. Also order a new cover, heater and filter system for it.

– Make front Garden Boxes and fill with soil/shrubs.

-Keep up with all the housework, meals, etc on top of everything else.

I seriously had it down to eight hours of work a day besides my cooking, housework and homeschooling. And it took three weeks of this before I realized that it’s just too much to expect. You think just reading through my “to-do” list would have snapped me back to reality, but in reality, it’s that very “to-do” list that keeps me going at sprinting speed from morning until night.

No time for texting, writing, social media, baking, running, personal care… just my list.

And so I stop, taking the time to write today because I need to. It reminds me of what’s important. God. Family. Laughter, relationships, rest.

And I delete. Check the boxes I’ve done. Let the accomplishments sink in. Cut the other goals in half. They will happen. It does not need to be this month.

Homeschool kids. Check.
Plant a dozen trees. Check.
Feed the family. Check.
Work on basement bathroom. Check.
Next To Do: Find time for joy

To Do:

Level ground and set up pool

Sand and stain deck & veranda

– Repaint front door.

Organize closets, shed & garage

Make front garden boxes and plant shrubs

See you later “to-do” list. I’m taking the rest of the day off.

…Ok. Maybe after I finish planting the garden 😉

10 thoughts on “Unrealistic Expectations

  1. I feel ya! My brain is beyond tired. I’m already terrible at taking care of myself, and then this quarantine adds another element to juggle. I just feel there’s no rest in this “supposed endless rest” that we have right now. Thanks for sharing your words. I definitely need to be reminded of this.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. you’ve done such a great job of sharing your power and all that you’re capable of achieving. Setting out to achieve a set of goals is easy, getting them accomplished is success. Great inspiration no matter what. Keep it coming Heather. Look forward to more of your realness.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I burst out laughing when I read your list! There’s no stinkin’ way I could accomplish all that in one month and stay sane. Or upright. LOL

    So, side story: My husband has an undiagnosed hip issue in the last few months, so he can’t help with yard work this spring. Enter me, trying to wrangle a thousand-pound tiller in our back garden. LOL. But I was determined to step up and be strong and get it done! So I tilled not even half the garden before I had to stop because my arms were so tired that I couldn’t physically keep the stupid beast from jumping left and right and out onto the grass! I shut it off, abandoned it in the garden, and then marched inside, balling. I had expected that my mental determination would somehow override my womanly, not-muscular body; and I was so frustrated when I could only do what I could do!

    Sometimes…

    Anyway, after a good sleep, I finished the garden in the morning, but not to the same degree that my husband would have. Because I’m not him. I’m me. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL I can just picture that. Which is why I didn’t even attempt to start our walk behind roller. I would love to be independent and do it all myself. But when I try “simple” tasks like that I realize how nice it is to have a man around that can physically do what I can’t!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I most definitely can relate to this sooooooo much!! I struggle with being still and just resting, because I always need to be doing. But I’ve realized lately – especially during this pandemic – that even mama’s need time to regroup and just breathe. I sat on my back porch last night and just felt the breeze and enjoyed the sunshine. And I realized that I’ve NEVER done that in like the 10 years we’ve lived in this home. I really felt encouraged to make this a thing… Like you said, our ‘to do’ list will still be there. It’s okay to prioritize sometimes and to cut back a bit so that you can make time for joy. Awesome blog post!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! You haven’t done that in 10 years?!? That’s CRAZY! You should definitely rest there more often 😃 Yup it’s something we can all learn from. Rest is so important! Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Like

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