Authenticity · Faith

Breaking Point

Sit down. Breathe.

The first morning to rest in weeks. Well, maybe just a bit of rest, there’s a lot of catch up to do.

Oh, what to do? What to do with this extra hour of time. An hour of quiet. An hour of alone time.

Should I read?

Sleep?

Go for a quick run on the treadmill? It’s been over a week since I last could run. Since I last had the time. The strength.

Weddings and long flus do that you know. My house was a place of bustling activities for the past week. So many people. Wonderful people. But a house full of 14 wonderful people, still holds the chaotic mess of the McCallister family from Home Alone.

Yup that was our place. Add a wedding and the flu to whatever you’re imagining. Harry and Marv didn’t even dare stop by. Our house was too much for even them. 

Oh and I almost forgot…there was a wedding cake order that I had to make in the mix. A large one:

Where was I going with this?

Right. Alone time. Rest.

That was supposed to be this morning.

Then the phone rings. My son, who was already sick last week with the flu, just threw up at school.

Morning of rest… OVER.

This is an honest look at Motherhood. An exhaustion that goes beyond exhaustion.

Reality: I don’t get a break. I am Mom.

Also Reality: This is why I need Jesus everyday.

Every. Single. Day.

This past week was impossible for me. If anything, it showed me how human I truly am.

I can’t do it all.

I really can’t! I need help. When I’m up at night holding buckets in front of kids, when I’m up early in the morning doing laundry, when I’m up late after everyone else is gone to bed, baking and decorating wedding cakes & cleaning up the mess that’s left behind, I am not enough.

In fact my character shows it. I become snappy. I become focussed on things rather than people. I grow bitter and bossy. For crying out loud, I quit a card game with my family because I was losing. Immature much??

My normal capacity to handle stress was gone.

Put me in any one of these situations: Host. Wedding. Cake Decorator. Sick family… and I can do it.

I can handle anything. (Or so I think)

But put me in all of the situations at once and I break.

Everyone has a breaking point. This was mine.

I am human.

I am weak.

The inside yuck comes out, and surprise, surprise, I’m just as short tempered, grumpy, and controlling as anybody else.

It gives me a lot of grace, to think this way. Because what is this trial compared to so many others have gone through and are going through right now?

Oh, that I would have eyes to see this! We are all just humans, struggling along in our weakness. We actually cannot do anything.

BUT…

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

All things.

Not some things. All things.

As I sit now, resting, with my hand in his. I believe it. Because he never said that I have to do everything perfectly. I just need to hold his hand in mine and stay soft through it all.

When I fall, all he asks is me to reach out again and get back up.

That I can do.

If this is what keeps me humble, if this is what keeps my heart soft towards others, then Jesus, I thank you for it. Bring me to my breaking point over and over so that I learn to truly rely on you. Then I will truly do all things in your strength and not my own.

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22 thoughts on “Breaking Point

  1. You make a great point Heather, being Mom is a full time job, let alone the complexity of work, and dealing with illness and company. Along with the fact that you have God Almighty to lean upon, you have work that expends creativity which can help alleviate some of the stress (even amidst deadlines). You do beautiful work. I pray His peace that transcends ALL understanding, and His healing, ensconce you and your precious family today. Blessings! ♥

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  2. Oh, Heather, this is exactly how I feel today. I’m exhausted. Trying to balance mothering, wife-ing, house upkeep, and writing – and all while (hopefully) not destroying my beautiful children with my yelling. Blech.

    Today is a rest day for me. I’m still in my housecoat, my coffee beside me, and my eyes puffy from crying.

    Dear Jesus, come renew my strength. But also, show me what to let go of…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for your honesty Sara. I think sometimes we just need to hear that we are not alone. Hoping that you get the needed rest today and that Jesus gives you wisdom for the future! Often the key is exactly that, asking God, am I doing too much? I’m waiting for similar answers. Blessings to you 💗

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You have a wonderful outlook on your situation, Heather. Finding strength in Jesus is key. You must remember that just because you’re Mom, doesn’t mean you are Super Mom. Be kind to yourself. Say NO to obligations sometimes. It’s OK to do that! Take care sweet lady. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sometimes it’s just so hard to stop! We know that we need to stop, but then we see all the commitments we’ve made and feel bad backing out! I’m trying to take this advice today, it’s so hard to do!

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  4. I enjoyed reading this Heather! Thank you for your honesty. I agree we all need that breaking point because in it we see our daily need for Jesus. Apart from His grace we can not make it. The cakes are beautiful! You’re so talented. May God bless you, your family and your business! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is what I need today because this week has been in and out for house showings, homeschooling, PMSing and tomorrow we have to be up early and out the door for another house showing. They don’t last long and it always works out but it’s so exhausting! I’m already exhausted from PMS stuff (perimenopause is a nightmare!) I have to remember this verse, one my mom always gives me…I can do ALL things through Christ!

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    1. Oh my word! It sounds like I’m not the only one who has a lot on my plate. When I get to this place of overwhelm, I often wonder, “How in the world do people do this chaos WITHOUT Jesus?!?” I couldn’t do it! I’m really not that strong.

      Glad this post spoke to you when you were going through something similar!

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      1. As if it couldn’t get harder, I think I have a pinched nerve in my neck and pain keeps radiating down my arm so I’m definitely leaning on Jesus right now. Painkillers are not helping. I truly don’t know what people do without Jesus, you’re right!

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  6. We all have been there, even though the words “breaking point” means something different to everyone. People reach their breaking point in different ways however when we step back from the situation we realize how stress plays a role in us getting to our breaking point. Stress is apart of life, if we don’t have some level of stress we would become stagnant. It’s not the absence of stress but the management of stress because we all need a certain amount of stress in our lives to get things accomplish. On the flip side, too much stress is not good, we have to be careful to not get to the point where we say “I feel like I’m about to explode.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You make a great point, we DO need stress. Just like we need trials and hardships to grow. But we also have to learn that like seasons of busyness, we also need seasons of rest. BOTH are vital in growing our character. As always, thanks for your meaningful comment Kim 💗

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  7. Amen, we all need His grace so much! It seems that flu has found its way across the continent this winter, making it’s stop here in Wisconsin also. But I am so grateful that when we are in the messiest places, Jesus doesn’t leave us to handle it alone. He is right here with us! Thank you for sharing your honest heart here!

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