These past two years my family has seen SO MUCH CHANGE. We’ve moved twice, switched churches twice, my husband has switched jobs twice. And it hasn’t been easy. Actually more often than not, I’ve found myself looking at snapshots from the past and wanting to just scream out: NO more change! Can’t I just go back to the way things were when they were easy!?! (As if it’s EVER been easy) And I long for the simpler times. Before I homeschooled. When the kids were all still young. When cell phones didn’t receive emails and notifications every five minutes…
It’s so easy isn’t it? To look back and see the perfect snapshots of our past and to think how “back then” things were happier, better somehow. But then, I remember how “back then” I wished for the days I’m in now. Where I can sleep without being woken every hour. Where the kids would play nicely by themselves once in a while. Where the baby wouldn’t need to be fed constantly. Where the hard days of pregnancy would be over and I could once again walk without pain.
In life there are many seasons, some good, some challenging, and some that seem to almost kill us. But they are seasons. And they will change.
Right now, I’m finally happy again with the way things are. We have a great church family who love and support us, we have a beautiful new house, we’re doing great financially and Ryan loves his new job. I just want to dig in my nails like a baby kitten and say ‘God, now don’t change a thing.’ But of course, deep down I know that this season wasn’t meant to last forever. Our family is again faced with a very exciting opportunity, but it will also mean change, and I’m terrified. I think back to all the times we’ve just jumped in and expected the best and how it actually turned out to be so much harder than anticipated. The last time everything felt perfect, we chose change and I thought that I might not make it through. But I did. And there’s no way I want to go through a time like THAT again.
But we weren’t made to hold on to the things in this world. We were made to let go. And in letting go of what we hold so dear, we are really admitting that it maybe isn’t as important as we make it out to be. With life continuing to move forward, I must learn to move on as well. Is there ANYTHING that will ever stay the same?
Oh, but there is. And it’s only when we let go that we realize that we were holding on to things that were never meant to keep us happy, they were never meant to satisfy our hearts. When we let go of it all, suddenly we can see clearly and there He is. Jesus. The One and Only. And as we let go, we reach out cling to Him, only to realize that He was holding on to us all along.